Today has been a good day.   Although this morning was a bit rough I worked through it.  Undergone some medication changes for the last two weeks and it seems to help.  The way it helps is hard to explain in detail.  It has given me a clearer and more relaxed feeling.  The thing is dementia can't be cured, can't be stopped, and only gets worse.  Really no treatment!  Only treat symptoms.

Bit of news.  Several of us with FTD did a video conferences with HBO (VICE) producers.  Some of us with FTD will appear on the documentary set to air soon.  It is called "Right to Die".   It is to bring awareness to this awful silent killer.

It focuses on the right to choose a dignified death when faced with this type disease that destroys a humans mind.

As a Christian this has been on my mind for a long time.  Do I want my family to be responsible for taking care of me, feeding me, changing my diapers, bathing me, brushing my teeth, etc.....for me that is not the optimal situation or what I want, shouldn't I have the right to choose and die with dignity?

From a person who has been saved by the blood of Jesus Christ this has been a very difficult feeling for me to grasp.  Most people believe that suicide is a cowards way out, and you will be bound to spend eternity in hell.  My argument is that's not the way I see it.  Jesus knows my heart, He knows my struggles, he knows the pain in my mind.  He is amazing and loves me.  So that begs the thought would He forgive me?  I don't know....it is not my plan to leave this world in that manner.  With that being said, having dementia can cause a person to do things that they really have no control over.

We all have done things that we had control over, and then some we didn't.  It's like a soldier going into battle.  He tries to control his part of the battle, but sometimes it gets out of his control.  When that happens bad things happen to good people.

Maybe not the best scenario.  I pray and hope that people who have HBO will look and see when the VICE documentary airs and listen to what we have to say on the "Right to Die" subject matter.  God Bless