Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Like A Boat

Like A Boat Abandon

     Sometimes in life we feel like our boat has been left on the shore and will never float again.   But all to often we hit a rock and crack the hull, then the water comes gushing in and we just start sinking.  We are not prepared to patch the crack and sometimes just plug it up with junk that will eventually come out and the boat will continue to sink.

This is the way I felt almost 7 years ago when I received the diagnosis of early onset dementia.  You don't really know what to think and it took the wind out of my sail, and caused my boat to run ashore and crack the hull.  I left my boat on the shore for several years wondering if it would be able to overcome the flood and winds of what life would become like for myself and more importantly my family.  I have run into some big waves, most splashing over and causing my boat to almost sink. Most of the time I would try to patch it up and keep floating.  Sometimes I wanted to let the boat sink and stop rowing.  That would have been selfish to just give up and cause more harm than good to my family.

I'm here now to tell you never give up.  The hull can be fixed and you can continue to float and row through life.
One of the key things I have learned is that "With God all things are possible".  Sure I'm not able to compete intellectually very well.  I have a terrible short term memory, can't do basic math anymore, can't multi-task, and get angry really easily. But, I function enough to foul people into believing that nothing is wrong.  Most of the time people will say you don't appear to have any problems.  I wish that was true, but unfortunately that is not true.

What is hard about the entire journey across the sea is that everyday, every week, every month, and every year that passes, I'm closer to slipping into total dementia.

I cling to my faith like a life preserver.  In James 1:2-3, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance".  Although I have been given and entrusted with a huge trial, I will not let my faith go. I see so many times that people with this diagnosis take a short way out.  Just last year I had two Facebook friends who had the same diagnosis decide that the waves are to mighty to keep the boat afloat and decided to sink.  Taking this way out is understood, but not fair to families.  I have to pray everyday that Jesus will keep my boat from sinking.

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